Monday, June 29, 2015

Why Dr. Millard Rausch Went Into Seclusion

Millions and millions of American's saw Dr. Millard Rausch's appearances at WGON studios during the Zombie Apocalypse of 1978. The good doctor thought he was only addressing the people of Pittsburgh, but little did he know his words were being broadcast to every emergency broadcast affiliate in America. Millions and millions of people heard only the words "dummies, dummies," and completely tuned out advice from the doctor that could have saved millions of lives. 

When it became apparent to Dr. Rausch that he was now the most hated man in America he didn't have time to wait for zombies to eat the brains of every single person who remembered him calling them a dummy, so he did the next best thing: he changed his name to Dr. Henry Wolfsburg and assumed the alias of  the mild-mannered cultural anthropologist and zombie bikini contest judge. But he just couldn't quit calling people dummies, so he formed The Hall of Bad Dudes to draw the proper attention to several historical dummies. 

Eventually, virtually every human brain was either eaten or converted to zombieism due to utter ignorance and dummietood, yet Dr. Rausch had holed up at his ranch in Vermont waiting for the zombies to run out of food. 

Dr. Millard Rausch leaving Club 54 October 6, 1978 after partying with Mick Jagger and zombie Charo. Shortly after he was forced to go into hiding after calling millions of Americans dummies. 

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Saturday, June 27, 2015

I Almost Got My Genesis Abacab Album Home Undamaged

I was very happy when I found this Genesis Abacab album at a local antique mall for two dollars. Until... I tried to buy it and the lady at the counter ripped a large chunk of the album cover off when she took off the sticker. She did exactly the same thing with a Rolling Stones album then joked some guy had lost his marbles earlier in the day when she did it to a videotape. No shit, Sherlock. What does that tell you? Maybe that you work at an ANTIQUE mall and part of the reason people come there is to buy things they consider collectible without some dim bulb destroying them before they can even take them home. On the continuum of tragic things this scores a one out of ten, but since this is one of my favorite Genesis albums, and it was in rather nice condition at  cheap price, I rate at the same level as a hangnail. Annoying, but not deadly. 

Genesis Abacab album

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Friday, June 26, 2015

Outsider Poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg Is a Cock

Saw the 11 year old perform in her band the Blah Blah Blahs tonight. I hope she doesn't leave our band The Super Tasty.Now I'm listening to live music from Deli Italia down the alley. Gay marriage was made legal by the Supreme Court today. Jenny sent me this picture where I'm a cock last night. I'm sitting here terribly tired of my own thoughts and routines, even though I love this place and how these past six years it has become my home. I'm having a delightful cup of Earl Gray tea with honey and cream. I'm a disappointment to myself. This is a funny picture, isn't it? I should put a poem underneath it. I wonder how many poems I've written in my life. I rarely write them anymore. I have one on my clipboard for Jenny I should finish tonight. 

I am a cock. I am an island.

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Thursday, June 25, 2015

Men At Work Business As Usual

The Men At Work Business As Usual album isn't a huge score in terms of being a vinyl collector, but at $5.25 it's almost half what I payed for it the first time. This was really something new when it came out. It was number 1 for fifteen weeks at the end of 1982. It was a monster success. Singer Colin Hay has been in town here a couple of times and performed as a solo act. If I had a turntable I'd get this record out and play it.

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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

AC/DC's Dirty Deeds

My next few vinyl purchases will be Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon," Queen's "The Game," and Judas Priest "British Steel." Last weekend I bought AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" album for the first time. I say I bought it for the first time because the first time I stole it. Or rather my friend Jody stole it for my 11th birthday party, and we played it all night. This time I paid four dollars for it. A nice, solid copy. Perhaps there is an invoice in there from the Young brothers for $8.99. 

AC/DC Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap album

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Clockwork Orange Soundtrack On Vinyl

Stanley Kubrick received death threats for his movie version of novelist Anthony Burgess' book A Clockwork Orange. The threats were so serious he banned the film himself and it could not be shown in England until after his death. Kubrick had originally received the novel on the set of Dr. Strangelove from writer Terry Southern, and reportedly did not like it very much. It remains one of two movies, along with Midnight Cowboy, nominated for a Best Picture Academy Award despite having an X rating. We listen to this soundtrack exactly once a year when we are driving to the Union Railway Museum to see Thomas the Tank Engine. I bought this copy at the new antique mall on North Second street. 

The English have a phrase "Queer as a Clockwork Orange." No one knows what it means.

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Saturday, June 20, 2015

Johnny Cash At San Quentin LP

Bought this album today at Toad Hall in Rockford. Short story to demonstrate how times have changed. In 1991 I walked into Toad Hall and asked if they had this album. They hadn't heard of it. Today, twenty-five years later I heard not one, but two bands in separate locations play a Johnny Cash song, then bought this album from the very place where they hadn't heard of it all those years ago. I was living in the Park Motel the week that Johnny Cash died. I can't remember a celebrity death before or since that stirred people upso much. In those roughly fifteen years he had gone from becoming a legend to punk rockers and country music fans to a cultural icon. Cash was the lone exception of the Outlaw Country music gang that my grandparen't allowed to be played in their home. They even banished the Eddie Rabbit song "I LOve a Rainy Night" because it contained the line "It makes me high," but somehow John denver slid through. Maybe it was the glasses. Nobody ever had the heart to tell them almost everyone in country music, even their beloved Porter Wagoner, was at the very least a pill-popping alcoholic. 

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