Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Zen of Beard Trimming: Stories of Punk Rock, Poverty, and the Search for Peace" by C.J. Campbell

We are proud to announce Zombie Logic Press' 6th book,"The Zen of Beard Trimming: Stories of Punk Rock, Poverty, and the Search for Peace" by C.J. Campbell. C.J. Campbell is a speaker, writer and activist with cerebral palsy, from Rockford, IL. He has spent the last 10 years sharing stories with a wide range of crowds from small dive bars to classrooms. The book chronicles seven years of C.J.'s travels, painstakingly detailed in this memoir. Punk rock meets leaving Christian Evangelism, meets Scandinavian models, meets a mismatched cast of unlikely characters and scenarios in a fearless, brutally honest story of the time honored search for (meaning, love, peace, an apartment, food and a microphone that works.) C.J. is currently working as the Director of Storytelling at Conveyor. He keeps a blog called "The Running Search" where most recently he chronicled his 75 mile walk, from Rockford to Evanston, IL, to raise disability awareness. "The Zen of Beard Trimming: Stories of Punk Rock, Poverty, and the Search for Peace" by C.J. Campbell is the latest in Zombie Logic Press' "River Valley Literary Series" It will be on local store shelves in February and now available for pre-order HERE

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Saturday, November 29, 2014

Happy Holidays From Zombie Logic Press

Now buy a book

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Friday, November 28, 2014

Top Eight Undead Creatures and What I Think About Them

1) Zombie. No picture needed. Look in the mirror. A zombie is a human being divested of its humanity. The least and most abused of the undead creatures. Appropriated for everything from video games to local car commercials, the zombie has become a ubiquitous paradox of the human experience. 

2) Lich. Pronounced lick, as any pretentious nerd from 1985 will tell you. The opposite of the zombie on the undead spectrum, lichs are the undead form of a powerful human, usually magicians, who have managed to transpose their human soul and intellect into a form that survives death. The soul is usually carried in a phylactery; an amulet charm, or sacred vessel, and if the lich's body is destroyed, the soul will return to the phylactery. Unlike zombies, who lose all humanity after death, a lich retains its human personality and intellect. The DAT you see in many of these illustrations is for David A. Trampier, who was one of the earliest illustrators to work for TSR, and had a very early influence on the look of the projects. 

3) Ghoul. Nobody really knows what a ghoul is, how a ghoul is created, or what differentiates a ghoul from other undead creatures. Some of the earliest depictions of the ghoul come from Arabic mythology, and involved greedy humans with unusual fetishes who fall into lives of the most perverted depravity after making a deal with a djinn that removes them from their soul and humanity. In almost all versions of the ghoul myth, the ghoul remains close to a source of human carrion, such as a cemetery, and feeds on the remains of the dead. This illustration is by John Bolton from the movie The Monster Club. 

4) Revenant The revenant is another vaguely defined undead creature, with no clear origin or description. The one thing that sets the revenant apart from other undead creatures it that it returns from the grave with a particular act of vengeance to perform. Once this act of vengeance has been achieved, the revenant will return to the grave. In most other respects a revenant will be indistinguishable from a zombie. I actually thought there might be some more interesting historical literature about this creature, but it turns out not to be the case. 

5) A wight is a creature given some semblance of life through sheer hatred and love of violence. I can identify with half of that. It appeared first in the Tolkien Middle Earth mythos, and was one of the earliest undead creatures included in the Dungeons and Dragons world. Now the derivation of the word "wight" simply means creature or being, and a wight seems to be a creature brought into being merely through hatred and with the single goal of draining the life out of others. Sounds very similar to an energy vampire, so it seems these undead creatures have been with us for a long, long time. 

6) Wraith. From the Scottish word for ghost, a wraith is traditionally defined as the spectral likeness of a human being seen before or just after death. Included in the 1974 boxed game of D and D, the wraith is an undead creature with a chilling touch that drains one of his life essence. Wraiths differ from wights and lower forms of undead creatures in that they are incorporeal. Those drained of their life essence by a wraith will themselves become a wraith. 

7) Spectre. A powerful undead human that haunts the most desolate of places, such as tombs and dungeons, and drains the life energy of opponents. A spectre differs from a wraith in that it is the undead life essence of a particular person, and remains distinguishable as that person, at least to those who know him. Spectres appear to be attached to certain places and have been assigned a task associated with that particular place. 

8) Vampire. I don't like vampires. Mostly because they are the undead creature that most closely resembles in appearance and properties human beings. Vampires want to live forever and feed on others and enjoy every perversion of the human flesh. Yet they have a hatred for the flesh they feast on. In other words, they're assholes. I identify with almost all other undead creatures except vampires. They have no purpose or goal or reason to continue existing except a desire to do so. Fuck them.  Pin It

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Eight Strangest Popsicle Flavors

Some years ago I decided I wanted to paint for a while. Many of my friends are visual artists, and no one reads poetry. So I bought some canvases and acrylic paints at the art supply store, and I sat there trying to decide what it was I was even capable of painting. I settled on coming up with a series of Popsicles. The worst, most revolting flavors I could think of, then I tried to create colors that would represent those terrible fluids. I eventually painted 8 different canvases, and called the Poopsicles. I'm not going to put the original titles on those here because most of them were too disgusting for a mixed audience. I can probably get away with saying this first one was originally titled "Tim Russert's Thrombosis," and I thought that was pretty funny, until I had emergency heart surgery and now deal with the very real everyday threat of internal bleeding or blood clots. 

1) Tim Russert's Thrombosis

2) John Holmes

There was more to the title of this Poopsicle, but I'm not going to say it here

3) Jenna Jameson

The title of this was what Jenna Jameson did in an audition before she became famous. 

4) The Turd That Killed Elvis

Elvis died on the throne. 

5) Vic Tayback's Toe Jam

Unlike most of the others, Vic Tayback's Toe Jam was the original title of this painting. I probably even tried to look up toe jam on the internet. What I did learn seemed more interesting. I learned early in the Zodiac Killer investigation, actor Vic Tayback was considered one of the leading suspects.

6) Oprah Winfrey's Vajayjay

I spent the most time on this one, pushing around small piles of acrylic paint to create the walls and folds of a woman's vagina. Charts and graphs were consulted. I took this seriously.

7) Garbage Dumpster Juice

I had to drive back to the apartment to take a picture of the last two Poopsicle Popsicles. This was the first one I painted. The juice at the bottom of a garbage dumpster in an alley behind four restaurants after Saturday night seemed like one of the most disgusting  things I could think of.

8) Jesse Garon Presley
I hated this even as I was painting it. The twin Popsicle sort of lent itself to this concept, but in concept and execution I dislike this piece. I need to do a couple more Poopsicles to replace the two I don't think are all that interesting. 


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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Several Brands Of L-750 Beta Tapes Available in 1987

I am in the process of editing a rather serious and sometimes depressing book, but aside from that most of my thoughts are about Beta tapes. Thriller Video, Betacams, and blank Beta tapes. I just bought some on Ebay. If you had asked me two months ago what the last thing on Earth I thought I would start collecting I would have told you blank video tapes. Well, to be correct, I'm not collecting them, but I was curious if anyone had an unopened blank Beta tape for sale. It turns out they did. Several brands.

Sony L-750 Dynamicron. Acquired. New old stock factory sealed and unopened. Practical use to me in this lifetime: zero.

Polaroid L-750 Betamax Supercolor Beta tapes. Unopened since the 1980's. Why? Why not?

Kodak L-750 Beta tapes. No returns due to age. But what kind of a psycho would return such a beautiful product? 
Last, and least in my priority, the Memorex L-750. These have been kept in a climate-controlled area, according to the seller, and I sure do appreciate that, because god only knows what hell would be released if these were to become damaged. 

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Friday, November 21, 2014

A List Of People Currently Watching The Sentinel On a Sanyo Betacord

Thomas L. Vaultonburg. End of list. 
For two months I thought the Sanyo Betacord I ordered on Ebay didn't work, because for some reason it wouldn't accept the beta tape I tried to put in there. So, I just started using it as a clock, and was still happy to have it. I know machines have their own personalities sometimes, and I've been making a small collection of Beta tapes, even though I thought I had nothing to play them on, so I tried once again tonight. Just for kicks. I held the tape to the lip of the VCR, but instead of pushing, or even coaxing, I just held it there for a second. Then I heard the carriage of the tape receiver rise up, suck in the tape, and go back down. It all seemed to come back to me then that you don't force a tape into such a classic machine, you humbly ask the machine to accept the tape. Humming like a charm. Picture as good as I remember Beta being. Sound working fine. I'm almost afraid to continue using it, but that's why I bought it. I love this machine, and only last night had decided that even if it didn't work I was still glad I bought it, because just having it here makes me happy. Next I might play return of the Living Dead, or Martin, or Dawn of the Dead. If I get really brave, I might try to put one of the Thriller Video tapes I have collected in and see what happens. 

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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Peopletoys (1974)

Actress Gail Smale, whose only movie was Peopletoys. Yes, she is albino.
Peopletoys is a 1974 movie that is impressive to me as an example of sure-handed professionalism triumphing over half-ass irresponsibilty. The half-ass irresponsibility in this case came from original director Sean MacGregor, who gets full credit for directing Peopletoys despite doing little else except fucking everything up, sleeping with an underage actress, and fighting with the writer and producer for setting flame to their hard work. MacGregor was so bad that we was fired and veteran tv producer David Sheldon was brought in to help salvage the production. Which he did. Despite having to reshoot a lot of the footage in another location, and bring back actors whose physical appearance had changed, including a nubile Leif Garrett, who had to don a wig because he had already dyed his hair for another production, Sheldon finished Peopletoys, also know as Devil Times Five, and Tantrums.  

Hell ya, that's Boss Hogg. Sorrelle Booke. "Goodnight, Harvey Beckman."
A lot of good scholarship has been done on Peopletoys. I've only ever seen one negative review, and that person seemed like kind of an idiot. The most amazing part of this movie to me is that it got finished at all. Most movies Sean MacGregor started never did, including the one with Vanna White, the one with the only known footage of her breastesses, or at least one breast, that is stilled credited to director Alan Smithee to this day, although it was the infamous MacGregor that raised a couple mildo of investor money, including the wife of a famous actor, and a future California gubernatorial candidate, then melted down, and ended up getting sued by everyone but Hupy and Abraham for misrepresenting himself. The legal battle went on so long that by the time it came to a head Vanna White and the rich governor-type had become all proper Conservatives and just wanted the piece of trash buried in a landfill. 

I watched Peopletoys again last night from my 50 Chilling Classics video that I've had a long time. The continuity errors, inexplicable scene changes, and feeling of disjointment are apparent if you're looking for them, or even if you're not. Knowing the troubled history of this movie only makes me like it more. I'm actually going to put it in tonight in the background and watch. I love the ski lodge location. The fact that at the beginning of the movie you see guests who are leaving for the season as the characters arrive to take over during the off season. Sound familiar? This movie is whack, and over the top with boobs, catfights, a cross-dressing adolescent, an albino actress fucking the director, who melts down, checks into a mental institution, and ends up 40 years later working as a stage hand in Hollywood. Whatever happened to Gail Smale? Pin It
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