Saturday, June 9, 2012

Halloween 3: The Only Halloween Movie That Matters

Sure John Carpenter is one of the greatest horror movie directors ever. Yes, I love his movies. The Fog and They Live are among my favorite all time movies, but the only Halloween movie that matters to me is the magnificent Halloween III, a movie he entrusted to his friend Tommy Lee Wallace because he refused to make another Halloween movie. Now IMDB informs me John Carpenter wants to remake Halloween III, I assume as a real Halloween movie instead of Tommy Lee Wallace's brilliant movie about a man who, well, let me show you...

This guy here. He's bought up an entire town in a remote valley in California. He has a factory there where he makes novelty items. Whoopie cushions, Halloween masks, that type of stuff. But dig this: he's an ancient Druid guy from Ireland, but he's come to America because he has a plan. An evil plan. To take a tiny speck of Stonehenge and insert it in a disk he puts in Halloween masks. 

Kids put on the mask.

He plays this incredibly annoying television commercial. 

Instant head implosion with creepy crawly features. 

But Tom Atkins says not on my watch, turn it off, turn it off. Do they turn it off? Who cares. Watch the movie. It is the best of all the Halloween movies. 

February 21, 2013: Halloween 3 is STILL the greatest of the Halloween movies. 

January 25, 2015: Watched it several times again this Halloween season, and noticed on Ebay there was a lot more Halloween 3 merchandise available than ever before, including a really cool movie poster, which I almost bought, and a novelization of the screenplay, which I still want. Also noticed that Cochrane, the Druid guy, is very polite. he even gives Tom Atkins and the chick a round of applause when they foil his plan and apparently send him back to the Abyss. My friend Michael knows the actress from the movie. Maybe I'll talk about that next year. 

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