Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Thirsty Dead Drinks Deep From the Cup of Stupid

I don't understand the 1974 movie The Thirsty Dead. Who's dead, exactly, and although almost everyone gets thirsty sometimes the dead don't and the dead in this movie show no evidence of being thirsty. 

I've sat through it a few times, or I've done the dishes or vacuumed while it was on. So, that alone probably means I know a lot more about this movie than you do. Here's what I think happens in this movie. 

A bunch of blond chicks just happen to be doing a lounge act in The Philippines. They get kidnapped and decide they want to look down each other's shirts. Then this death cult led by a white dude attempts to transform them into...

Old Philippino hags for no damn good reason. Nobody drinks any blood here. The only thirsty person represented in this movie is at the lounge in the first scene. Nonetheless. If you happen to be doing the dishes, I recommend The Thirsty Dead.

February 21, 2013 update: The Thirsty Dead is still pretty stupid. But I think you can still get it on Drive In classics so go ahead and watch it.

Pin It


  1. Wow. You really missed the whole sub-text of this film. Rather than spell it out, and spoon-feed you, I'm going to ask that you rewind the tape (I assume it hasn't made DVD) and watch it again w/o the distractions. I think the subtle details will become obvious.

  2. You're just trying to trick me into watching it again because John Consodine is your uncle.

  3. Ok. Look man, we get royalties from this shit. And, that box of Kraft mac/cheese every month really makes a difference.

  4. Trust me, I do more than my fair share on Netflix to make sure guys like John Consodine and the estate of John Carradine keep getting checks.

  5. It's definitely no Dead Drunk.


Blogger Wordpress Gadgets