Friday, November 9, 2012

November 18th Is Dr. Millard Rausch Questions Your Intelligence Day

Dr. Millard Rausch cares about your well-being. But like most scientists he has serious questions about your intelligence level. He has slightly ambivalent feelings about humanity surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. On one hand his dry cleaner is a human, and as often as Dr. Rausch spills jelly donut filling on his snappy blazer he'd be in some deep shit if his dry cleaner became a shambler. But everyone who knows Millard Rausch knows he's a terrible driver and would benefit substantially if 99% of the human race would abandon driving for a slower, more unobtrusive method of transportation, such as shuffling. 

Dr. Millard Rausch is conflicted. He really couldn't give two shits if most of you survive the Zombie Apocalypse, but some of you make those prune danishes he really likes. On November 18th keep Dr. Rausch in mind as you slug through your day hoping that everyone in front of you in traffic or at the Walmart would die so you could get home thirty seconds faster to watch Dancing With the Stars.

Dr. Millard Rausch, the eye-patch wearing scientist from Dawn of the Dead who tries to remain rational and calm in the face of zombie pandemic, was played by actor Richard France, who appeared in seven movies in all, and according to IMDB is a noted Orson Welles scholar. One wonders in the end why he even bothered. 

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