Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Laura Petry's Stuck Toe Poem

In the season four episode "Never Bathe On a Saturday" of The Dick Van Dyke Show, Laura Petry gets her toes stuck in the faucet of a hotel bathtub. How she does it and manages to remain fully clothed still remains a mystery. Perhaps one explained in the episode itself, but since I haven't seen it since I was ten I don't remember. I told you that to tell you I wrote a poem about my bathtub. I can't remember why. I lived in a basement apartment at the time and one of the niceties that made one cheap apartment nicer than another would be hot water and a bathtub. I really liked this place even though I was only there 18 months. And I did lose my rent deposit. 


   If you can’t write a poem 
   In the bathtub 
   You may be suffering 
   From iron deficiency 
   And I don’t recommend 
   Eating wrenches and pliers 
   But you sure could lay off 
   All the bloodletting 
   And the leeches aren’t 
   Helping one damn bit, 
   For chrissakes kid 
   Nobody wants to steal 
   The soap it’s already 
   Been used.
My toe is stuck in the faucet.
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