Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Omega Man Poem

The Omega Man is one of my favorite movies. I've seen it dozens of times. Which might lead readers to wonder why I didn't know it was shot in Los Angeles instead of New York. To which I retort: I'm very slow. That's why I have to watch my favorite movies dozens of times. 

Charlton Heston as The Omega Man

   A Very Bad Way to Spend 
   An Evening 

   Watching Heston portray 
   The Last Man On Earth 
   I polish my pearl- 
   Handled revolver 
   More than the 
   Surgeon General 
   Would advise 
   And begin counting 
   The continuity errors 
   That begin in Scene 1 
   When a cop car rolls 
   Off the Jersey turnpike 
   And continue when I spot 
   Jack Kerouac and Frank O’Hara 
   Playing bongos 
   On the roof of the Met. 
   The supposedly solitary 
   Heston rolls on square jawed 
   And is whistled at 
   By whores in SoHo, 
   Hit up for spare change 
   By bums in the Bronx 
   And told the end  
   Is near by Jehova’s  
   Witnesses in Hell’s Kitchen.      
         
   It’s all a hoax and 
   When the credits 
   Start rolling 
   I realize the only 
   One alone here 
   Is me. 
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