Saturday, January 26, 2013

A Monster's Genealogical Chart


I woke up this morning and read an email from John Bolton's personal assistant that it exists! The monsters genealogical chart Vincent Price explains to John Carradine in the movie The Monster Club exists, and she sold it to someone last year. 


Part of me hopes the collector paid a handsome sum and has it framed somewhere and will never part with it for any price, but I also have a hope someone just gave her fifty dollars and it will eventually end up on Ebay. I have fantasized about owning the actual piece used in the movie for almost thirty years now. I know it's an incredibly strange thing to pine for but the heart wants what it wants. 




"First we have the primate monsters, vampires, werewolves and ghouls – but everyone knows about those. Now pay attention: A vampire and a werewolf would produce a werevamp. A werewolf and a ghoul would produce a weregoo. A vamire and a ghoul would produce a vamgoo. A weregoo and a werevamp would produce a shaddy. A weregoo and a vamgoo would produce a maddy. A werevamp and a vamgoo would produce a raddy. If a shaddy were to mate with a raddy or a maddy, it would result in a mock (which frankly, is just a polite name for a mongrel). Just remember the basic rules of monsterdom: Vampires suck, werewolves hunt and ghouls tear. Shaddies lick, maddies yawn and mocks blow. Oh but a Shadmock, which is the result if a mock were to mate with any other hybrid, whistles – and they don’t do it very often. Now the humegoo, which is a cross between a ghoul and a human being, don’t really do anything interesting but they do have an unfortunate appetite for carrion (which they get, of course, from the ghoul side of the family). It must be noted that although monsters can mate with human beings, the results are almost always disastrous. " -Aramus



The quest continues. 



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