I always wondered why I wasn't a worse person. A villain even. Maybe I am, or maybe I am to some people, but I look back at all the opportunities I've had to engage in some serious skullduggery (no, skullduggery makes it sound like a Terry Gilliam movie with dwarves), I mean some serious perversion of the flesh and flouting of the natural and societal laws... and took a pass. Why? In general I'm rather amoral. I don't feel like any natural or man-made laws bind me. I feel above them. But when offered to partake in every form of sin most of humanity lusts after I couldn't have found myself any less interested in most cases.
I actually don't know.
Either my body or my mind woke me up earlier today than I intended. A few hours earlier. I'm just only now starting to piece together in my mind why that might have happened. I'm exhausted and have a head cold and wanted nothing more than to sleep most of this day while I was apart from my normal routine.
But the thing is something inside me wanted to be awake. To see this day I'd been waiting for now for what seems like nine eight months. The first really nice day of Spring. Eighty degrees. It has been so cold and dreary and I promised myself I'd soak up as much of this year's sun and warmth as possible.
Back to sin. Why doesn't it appeal to me the way it does other people? I really don't know. I don't have any particular moral or ethical injunction against it.
Maybe I just find warm days and nourishing food more satisfying than decadence and empty calories. It will all soon decay and be forgotten, but the low and steady hum of a well-maintained engine is a sound I cherish more than screeching tires.
I have no idea what any of this means or why it got me out of a perfectly soft bed this morning.