Friday, June 21, 2013

My Tight End Is Going To Prison and Other Tales of Fantasy Football Woe

I avoided playing fantasy football for many years. Not because I'm one of those people who doesn't get it, but because I'm one of those people who entirely gets it. Any kind of competition you can put a number on I'm in. I knew I would become obsessive and I just didn't want to invest the time. Until five years ago. A fantasy league my brother was in had a player back out at the last second, so I went to the draft and The Inscrutable Zombie Logics were born. And ever since then it has been one disappointment after another. Name a player who either injured himself in the dumbest way imaginable or went to prison and you basically have half the roster to any one of my teams. The thing with the latest addition to this abysmal record of mis-evaluating talent and character is that murder isn't funny, and I have this sneaking feeling the tight end on my team may soon be learning that lesson all too well. It's two more months until our draft, and by that time I have no idea how many of the players I had counted on to make this season make me forget the last will still be able to walk, chew bubble gum, or stay out of the hokey. Nice tattoos. Somebody please tell me Tim Tebow isn't going to be the starting tight end for the Patriots this year. Pin It

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