I was writing this very poem a few months ago after I saw a show about fallacies in the Bible and I asked Jenny if there was a site listing things lesbians liked, and she said "You're not writing something ignorant, are you?" Turns out I was. I remembered I had written this last night and wanted to try and write it better. But I can't. It's about as dumb as it gets, and I can't make it any less dumb.
On the Idea of the Perpetual
Virginity of Mary
How satisfied Mary found herself
In the days and years after the son of
The only male lover she had ever known
Left to work in his real father's company
Having her virginity confirmed over and over
Before softball practice and after knitting sessions
By the respectful but cunning finger of Salome
While Joseph and his flock
Of bastards were out salvaging copper
And tin from the abandoned summer
Homes of the Pharisees.
How Mary trembled and convulsed each
Time her maidenhead was re-established
By Salome's expert fingers, and later in life
Her quick, darting tongue.
Meanwhile Joseph kept up the ruse by bedding
Every loose Jezebel in Nazareth and continuously
Adding to his construction crew of bastards.
They were by all accounts a model family
And fully comfortable knowing they were establishing the
Precedent for conservative family values.