Saturday, July 19, 2014

Further Utterances of Sun Tzu

Further Utterances of Sun-Tzu

If occupying moral
High ground
Build a bamboo
Hut
Suitable for gloating
And ride it out
With Sumatran coffee
And the London Times.

If handed an inferior
Glass of wine
At a peace negotiation
Thrust it defiantly
In the host's face
Dashing all hopes of peace
As he has dashed
Your hope for a good
Buzz,
Then overturn the
Buffet table and rape
His wife-
A chintzy host cannot
Be trusted.

When in Rome...

Duckwalk,

When in Indiana...

Cowtip,
And when in Tuscaloosa
Well, you know,
Stay at the beautiful
Downtown Hospitality Inn.
There are one-way mirrors
Behind the artwork
And the ice machine
Is broken,
But they gave me fifty

Bucks for the ad space.

(Sun Tzu doesn't
Actually endorse
The Hospitality Inn
Or this poem
But being dead
He's in a very
Weak tactical
Position
So fuck him). 
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