Thursday, July 24, 2014

Jack Nicholson Poem

    Jack Nicholson 

   The head on the TV 
   Says “There’s something 
   You can do with a Golden 
   Globe you can’t with 
   An Academy award.” 

   Hollywood legend 
   Jack Nicholson, wearing 
   A red, silk robe 
   Poses in front of the 
   Mantle of his upstairs 
   Bedroom. The steely eyes 
   Of four Oscars and 
   Perfect reflecting pools 
   Of six Golden Globes 
   All beam back that 
   Devilish profile. “There 
   Must be something you 
   Can do with a Golden 
   Globe you can’t with 
   An Academy Award,” he muses.
   Meanwhile, still in halflites 
   In the background, 
   Two Hollywood vixens, 
   The stars of this year’s   
   The stars of this year’s         
   Coming-of-age comedy, 
   Decorate Jack’s bed. 
   Their combined ages  
   Sums less than Jack’s 
   When he won his first Oscar 
   For Cuckoo’s Nest. 

   Jack’s concentration returns 
   To the business at hand 
   And that legendary wry smile 
   Flashes across the billboard 
   Of his face as he realizes: 
   “Godammit, the IS something you 
   Can do with a Golden Globe 
   You can’t with an Academy Award.” 

   Cut (and print) 

   Next shot: the starlets 
   Have hit their marks expertly, 
   As if they’ve been doing this forever. 
   Their perfect asses raised 
   Invitingly, side by side, 
   The redhead has a tattoo 
   Of Betty Boop on the small 
   Of her back. 
   Jack kneels between them     
   Like a charioteer at The Coliseum, 
   His Oscar for A Few Good Men 
   In his right hand and 
   His Golden Globe for As Good As It Gets 
   Gripped in his left he hoists them 
   Above his head in a triumphant 
   Pose, yet Jack’s little Oscar 
   Remains disinterested. 
   Jack blames the Academy 
   For their sycophancy and the 
   Movie-going public for their 
   Slobbering adoration, but mostly 
   He blames the thousands of 
   Starlets, divas, cheerleaders, 
   Waitresses, strippers, producer’s wives, 
   Film students and makeup 
   Artists for just making it all 
   Too damn easy and removing 
   All suspense from the  
   Surprise ending. 
   But a mere moment 
   Before the audience loses 
   Interest the Master has 
   A flash of inspired genius:  
   He’s Al Pacino in Scarface- 
   He rams the Golden Globe 
   Into the brunettes pussy 
   And cunningly eases his 
   Oscar into the redhead’s ass. 
   Betty Boop gives him a wink 
   And they both howl and 
   Writhe in ecstasy 
   As Jack’s hands pump 
   Like a two-fisted gunslinger 
   Until he screams “Say hello 
   To my little friends” 
   And spurts enough genetic 
   Material to satisfy both 
   Girl’s inexhaustible hunger. 

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