What, you don't have bears in Chicago?
A bear you can deal with. They're semi-reasonable creatures. Serial killers, on the other hand?
Here we see serial killer Terence Doddy doing what everyone in Rockford pretty much does: buying cheap clothes at Walmart and evading the law. Fortunately Doddy did us all a favor this afternoon and ran into a tree in the stolen car he'd been driving all over Northern Illinois all week. Whether or not the bear was riding shotgun is still up for debate. Nonetheless, with this son-of-a-bitch in custody Rockfordians can get back to doing what we do best on the Fourth of July weekend: shooting off illegal fireworks from Indiana, Iowa, and Wisconsin, and firing our illegally-obtained firearms into the air while drinking Old Milwaukee Light. Maybe those news vans from Chicago will stick around a while and document how it's really done.