Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Scenes From The First Annual Rockford Outsider Poetry Slam

Things got a little out of hand Wednesday night at the first annual Rockford Outsider Poetry Slam. What started as a well-intentioned meet and greet for local poets to discuss poetry and read their words to an audience turned into a battle royale when poets from several different disciplines began actively not-listening to each other. The evening began with promise as Dr. Millard Rausch, long believed to be in political exile after calling everyone in America a dummy in 1978 read some poems from his new book of Outsider Poetry "Dummies, Dummies, What I Meant To Say Was Chummies, Chummies" to a generally indifferent response by the assembled poets, who were shuffling uncomfortable in their seats and making last minute revisions to their own poems.

Dr. Millard Rausch read from his new book of Outsider Poems "Dummies. Dummies. What I Meant To Say Was Chummies, Chummies," Wednesday night at the first annual Outsider Poetry Slam where twelve police units and three ambulances were eventually called out when a riot broke out among warring factions of poets.

Things rapidly deteriorated from this point when noted social activist and Cubs fans Stanislav Milgram read his poem "White Sox Fans and Their Wives Are Fat, Stupid Idiots."

It didn't go over very well. But things got worse. When former Marine, Mercury 7 astronaut, and Ohio Senator John Glenn took the microphone to read a poem about being one of the few untarnished heroes in American history local anarchist and street artist William Cockingtom III took umbrage...

"Not on my watch, Boy Scout," Cockington III yelled as he snuck in a short, crisp sucker punch to Glenn,s jaw. It was at this moment that many audience members who mistakenly believed they were walking into a new Downtown cafe called Snookies took advantage of the melee to sneak out. When that happened all hell broke loose and fists of fury flew as poets of all different schools punched, kicked, gouged, and taunted each other with verbal barbs and derision. 

Despite the lawsuits event organizer Peter Argent says The Rockford Outsider Poetry Slam will now become a monthly event, as he has received interest in several national networks wanting to televise the event as a pay-per-view. Shineboxes.

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