Monday, February 8, 2016

Kokomo Mayor Names Shad Conroy Outsider Poetry Laureate

Woke up run down and feeling I was already behind the day. Jenny and the kids are snuffling and it's cold and gray outside. I'm out of tea. I have a package that needs to get to the post office. I have appointments the rest of the week, and I need to go downstairs and ride the bike before I go to the apartment tonight. 

When one feels this way, and even the smallest inclines feel like mountains, it is even more crushing when one puts energy into a thing that bears no real fruit. Fortunately for me I have always seen my "work" more as an amusing avocation meant only to entertain me and give  me an alternative to more destructive behaviors, but it's still nice when something "pays off" in the sense that other people see it, or, imagine this, buy it. 

I stayed up past dawn this morning working on a couple of pet projects that are meant for my eyes only. I imagine there are times when other people stumble upon one of these creations and wonder why this exists. The only good answer is that it exists because cyberspace is unlimited and instead of journaling my thoughts as I would have done in the past, sparing an audience the trouble of having to deal with my own private ruminations, I just create a page. Last night I created two. Here's a rundown.

Kokomo Outsider Poetry Federation

No explanation for this will be sufficient. I have a private reason why I want to make five separate webpages declaring American cities with funny names have been awarded Federal grants to establish Outsider Poetry bureaus. Poet laureates will be named. Poetry slams will be held. Children will be taught to read by guest Outsider Poets. Of course none of this is true, and only I am amused. But when I wake up the next day feeling stiff and a quart low I wonder if that was really a good use of time. True, all I would have been doing otherwise was watching MeTV, but at a certain point there are no precincts left to report and you have to concede you've lost the election. I will say just type the word Kokomo into your keyboard. Just the act of typing Kokomo is in itself amusing. 

Kokomo mayor Loyd Bridges shakes the hand of newly name Outsider Poet Laureate Shad Conroy

Rancho Cucamonga Outsider Poetry

Rancho Cucamonga is not as funny just to type, but in many other ways is just as satisfying in its absurdity. A page of empty content declaring that actor James Laurenson has been declared the poet laureate of Rancho Cucamonga by a federal proclamation. Seemed like a worthwhile idea at the time (5 a.m.), and it reminded me of the Jeff Bridges movie Rancho Delux. 

So, tonight may be Sheboygan, Chemung, or Minooka. I keep thinking there is another city I have forgotten. When I do I'll make a page for that and claim the kid who played Skippy in Family Ties has been named the city's poetry ambassador. It won't be funny. And it won't matter. Pin It

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