Wednesday, November 2, 2016

A Personal Invitation For All White Sox and Cardinals Fans to Go Fuck Themselves Tonight

 And...



I want all the Cardinal and White Sox fans that I grew up with and have known all these years to know that you have been insufferable pricks and I have a dislike for you that will never go away. I hope your lousy teams go a hundred years before they win again, and that you stew in your own ignorant lowlife bile while you watch this team be better than you for the next decade. 

I wouldn't say getting to tell you to go fuck yourselves and your cousin/wives is more pleasurable than this victory, but it sure feels good tonight to tell you that you are the losers. And not even lovable losers as Cub fans have been all these years, just losers. 

I've endured your jibes and insults for forty years, and they were taken in the spirit they were meant. You were never good-natured about it, and intended to make Cub fans feel worse about something that already was breaking their hearts.

And so tonight I return the favor, and will take the greatest relish in returning it until the Cubs are no longer the best team in baseball, but don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen.


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