Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Elvira's Movie Macabre Season 3 Episode 6: Maneater of Hydra

"That gal on the couch who ain't no slouch."

So began Season 3 Episode 6 of Elvira's Movie Macabre, Island of the Doomed, on the evening of November 20, 1983. Was I watching? I don't think so, because I don't remember seeing this movie, but I'm going to live watch it tonight at ShoutFactory and comment.

If you were asleep in Botany 101, you will learn early in this movie, if you're still awake, that carnivorous plants obtain Nitrogen from their victims, not the soil. 

This is a nerdy Botany professor from the University of Michigan. He seems very curious about the Baron's flora. My guess is he's not going to be in the movie much longer. Yes, the picture quality is this grainy.

"It's like a cucumber, but it tastes like meat." 

During her second segment at twenty minutes, Elvira muses that while she was watching a cucumber that tastes like a steak she was busy coming up with a hamburger that tastes like a banana. But nobody wants to buy them, because "they don't have appeal." 

"Anybody for a little Frisbee? Mine are enormous." After a rather dry segment where the Baron explains about his porcupine plant Elvira returns with her Frisbee. It's a welcome diversion from the poor picture quality of this movie. How about that eye makeup? Looks a little bit like Piston Honda in Mike Tyson's Punch Out when he gets stunned by a punch. 

Alright, everyone is in bed now, so time to eat my Cherry Garcia ice cream and finish this sucker. I read ahead a little bit and am of the understanding there is an intense finish. 

Cameron Mitchell plays the Baron von Weser admirably in this movie. I have seen him in a great many movies and tv shows, including Night Gallery, and he often plays an over the top tough guy type, but here his performance is a little reserved. I'm actually watching this scene as I write. Here he is explaining to a woman who has broken away from the group to come and have sex with him that he is never lonely because he has his plants. I think it's about to go badly for her.

Yep, she was about to touch his giant gardenias, and was rebuffed, only to retreat in frustration.

"In a movie about a man-eating plant, I would keep my eye on a man named Moss."

Two dudes fighting it out with axes underneath a bloodsucking tree? Typical Friday night in Hydra, pronounced Heed-ra. 

Director Mel Welles was known for his killer flora movies, including playing flower shop owner Gravis Mushnick in Little Shop of Horrors, because of course he did. And I see looking at his IMDB credits that he played Dr. Hinkle in Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype, another Movie Macabre feature I finished watching earlier today. 

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