Wednesday, March 6, 2019

A Few Notes For Myself On Turning Fifty

I turned fifty last month, and was surprised with a trip to Mardi Gras by my partner. 

Fifty was a surprise to me as I always expected to die from the same thing and at the same age that my mother did. I got open heart surgery instead, and survived. In a lot of ways that left me completely unprepared for everything that was to come after. I didn't expect any of it. 

I had a very vain and selfish goal for my fiftieth birthday. I wanted to train hard in the gym and end up doing a naked pictorial on the street outside my apartment documenting being in the best shape of my life and generally just not giving much of a shit what anyone thought.

So, I set out last March training for that photo shoot. And I blew out my shoulder immediately. Followed by both elbows. Then I sprained my foot so badly I could barely walk.

But I trained through it all. I wanted to be like one of those guys in the commercials for fitness products who says "I'm fifty, and I'm in the best shape of my life." Yest nothing went right. It was the most agonizing training cycle in my entire life. 

February came around, and every part of my body hurt, and the photo shoot never happened. Like almost everyone else who ever lived on planet Earth, I didn't get to stand in the middle of the street at fifty years old documenting how robust and powerful I was. Instead, I didn't achieve the results I dreamed of, and I took a selfie in my bathroom mirror.


Then I went to New Orleans and ate my way through the city with my partner and came home to the best friends a guy ever had.

I may not be in the best shape of my life, but I never had it so good. I have become the Dungeon Master for my Tuesday night Dungeons and Dragons group, and I am part of an art collective where I have two shows this month. 

So, please indulge me in the sharing of a clearly self-centered photograph. Maybe I'll be back at 100 and do another one. 

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